“Heh, gotta love the fans,” Falco said as the hotel doors closed on the rampaging hoard that had arrived for the parade. “You think that any of ‘em are looking for a place to spend the night?”

“Chill, bird-brain,” Fox said, shaking his head as he walked by. “Security’s keeping them out; no telling how many of them are stable.”

“And besides, sonny, do ya really need any more attention? Heh.”

Falco rolled his eyes as his wingmen walked past; Fox was already focused on securing their hotel rooms for the night, while Peppy was probably getting ready for his old-man nap. Neither of them really knew how to live anymore, he felt. Too focused on moving forward all the time.

But what was the point of being a celebrity if you weren’t going to live it up a little?

“Uh…weird…”

“Hmm?” Falco looked over his shoulder as Slippy shuffled closer, the frog staring at some gizmo of his. “What’s up, Slip?”

“Uh, just getting some – some weird readings on this,” the frog said, turning in place, pointing a tablet all over the place. “I dunno; one second it’s there, then it disappears.”

“Heh, relax. It’s probably just malfunctioning.”

“Nnngh, I dunno. Maybe – but if it’s not, then something weird –”

“We’re on Corneria, Slippy. You really think something bad’s gonna happen just after the victory parade. Gimme that.”

He yanked the tablet out of the frog’s hands before Slippy could dart away and pocketed it. No more of that; they were going to celebrate, and even if they didn’t have any fans around to ‘help’ with that, they weren’t going to get distracted by some random gadget screaming about something that probably didn’t exist. Even as Slippy complained, he waved the frog off.

“Come on. You’re going to relax tonight. Same as all the rest of us. Hell, if Pepper was letting us call some pals in, I’d be setting up a party to end all parties. Strippers, party girls, the works.”

“F-Falco, this is serious, come on. You can’t just –”

“Guys!”

Falco looked up as Fox held up the room keys. The commander tossed ‘em his way and he snagged his and Slippy’s out of the air.

“Get some shut-eye. We’ll need to fly at six-sharp tomorrow.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Waving them off, he turned back to Slippy.

“Okay, so it’ll be just you and me. No prob; I bet the mini-bar’s got enough to get a party started, and maybe if we get the word out, we’ll be able to get some girls up to the room. What do you say?”

“I – Oh god, you’re not – Falco, just – just lemme have the tablet back, I need to –”

“Oh…my…god. It worked.”

Wait, was that –

Falcon and frog alike whipped their heads to the source of the voice. There, standing in the middle of the hotel lobby – where nobody had been and nobody should have been, considering all the security – was a blue-scaled lizard. Falco’s eyes immediately dipped to her boobs (Respect, he thought at their size), and then to her hips. Curves, nice ones, and tight jeans that flattered the ones from the waist down. She looked cute rather than beautiful, but he liked that; the models were always shit in bed.

And the way that she stared, he knew that they had a groupie on their hands. Falco grinned, tossing the tablet back to Slippy and standing up a little taller, his head tilted back with all the grandstanding peacock-ery that any bird should have when looking at a nice female. He strutted across the lobby, grinning wider as the lizard kept staring wide-eyed at him.

“Heh, looking for me, I bet,” he said, offering his hand. “Yeah, I’m the Falco Lombardi. What do you say to –”

“Can you introduce me to Slippy?”

“I – what?”

“Falco? Uh, what does she want?”

Him? Him with that loser-y high-pitched voice? The hell – I’m right in front of you, lady, and you’re aiming for him?

She even blushed! How the –

No way. Nuh-uh. I am not losing the one fan that we had walk through the doors to that frog.

“Hey, come on,” Falco said, taking her by the arm and leading her across the lobby floor. “You can meet him, but lemme tell you, you’ve got a better offer here.”

“Well, uh…maybe…”

“What’s your name, cutie?”

“Oh, uh, Ulti – my name’s Ulti – is this really happening?”

“Hehe, oh, it’s happening, babe. It’s happening.”

Course, he couldn’t just walk her to the elevator. That’d be too obvious, and she might get a little pissed. Better to show her who was the better man; Slippy wasn’t going to compare that well once they were face to face. She’d take a few looks at his wingman, wonder what she was thinking, and then come up with him.

Then, bam! A good night for all.

Slippy looked more and more confused, then embarrassed, then wide-eyed with shock as they got closer and closer. By the time that Slippy was in arm’s reach, the frog was about as red in the cheeks as the sun setting through the windows.

“Ulti, this is Slippy. Slippy, Ulti –”

“Wow. You’re even cuter up close,” Ulti said.

…This can’t be happening.

Falco managed to keep the irritation off his face; he knew that there was no way that Slippy would have the confidence to talk to her, so all he had to do was wait it out and –

“Oh, uh, I’m not – I mean – thanks?” Slippy chuckled. “I – I’ve never had anyone call me that before.”

“I’ve been a real fan for a long time. And I think frogs are amazing!”

The fuck?!

“Maybe even more than birds!”

The FUCK?!

He’d gone from having a damn good chance at getting laid for the night to having to compete with Slippy of all people. It was one thing to compete with Fox – that was to be expected, considering his commander was handsome and well-liked by the public. That was something he was used to.

But Slippy? Fucking Slippy?

“Hey, hey, hey, you don’t know what you’re missing with birds,” Falco said, forcing a chuckle. “All you gotta do is gimme ten minutes, and I’ll show you exactly what kind of fun you can have with someone like me.”

“W-well, there’s big plusses with frogs, too,” Slippy said. “I mean, you know what they say about frogs and their tongues.”

Ulti’s eyes went wide. Falco wanted to slap Slippy silly.

“Yeah, but we both know who the real looker here is.”

“Well, she seems to like me more,” Slippy said.

“Come on. You wouldn’t even know what to do; at least I can make sure that she has a good night.”

“Yeah? W-what about if she decides that she doesn’t want that?”

“As if! Come on, someone as cute as her deserves the best. You think that you can give her that?”

“Well, maybe I can! And maybe she likes frogs better than she likes birds!”

“Well –”

The tiniest little squeak caught his ear. Falco paused, looking back at the lizard out of the corner of his eye.

She was grinning from ear to ear, and she looked so excited that he was a little worried that she was going to faint. She must have been – oh, she was enjoying them fighting over her. Falco grinned, pulling Slippy closer and whispering in his ear.

“Look. Let’s call a truce on this; she’s so riled up watching us that she’ll probably be willing to share.”

“What? Why?”

“Look at her, Slip. Ever since we started fighting, she started grinning. I bet you anything she’s never had someone fight over her before.”

“How?! She’s gorgeous.”

“Well, cute, let’s not get carried away,” the bird said, shaking his head. “But come on. Let’s make her night, huh?”

And at least this way I get some kinda guarantee. Fighting Slippy for a girl; what the hell is wrong with this picture?

Slippy looked back at the lizard. Falco could see the gears turning in his head; they had someone that liked both of them, and she had even confessed that she wanted to meet Slippy, liked him even more. The frog’s face was so honest that every thought that crossed his mind was immediately clear to Falco: could Slippy get her alone, could he be mean enough to cut Falco out, could he go through with this?

And the answer was just as obvious: maybe, no, and yes.

“Okay,” Slippy muttered. “But – I want to go first.”

“Hey, lady’s choice.”

“She’s gonna choose me.”

“Shut up.”

They turned around, all smiles. Falco held up his room keys.

“So, we were just talking about it – how do you feel about coming up and letting us settle something with you?”

“Heh…I’m listening,” Ulti said, a faint red creeping into her cheeks. “What are you thinking?”

“Well, you said that birds are ‘almost’ as good as frogs. Maybe I can change your mind.”

“And I can be the frog that you compare him to,” Slippy said. “I mean, if you’re, uh, if you’re okay with that.”

Shut up, shut up, don’t make her overthink –

He blinked as Ulti snagged the card from his fingers. Before he could say a word, she read the number and grabbed him and Slippy by the hands and pulled.

“Let’s go!”

#

In seconds, they had a naked lizard in the middle of their bed. Ulti had thrown her clothes in the corner and was hiding her head under a pillow as she swayed her ass back and forth. Seemed that the nerves had finally gotten to her a bit. Still, the way that she had her tail flagged, showing off as wet a pussy as he had ever seen, told Falco that they were still going to get a good time.

He was just about to unzip and take his place between her legs when Slippy put a hand on his chest.

“Uh-uh. Me first.”

“You – why you?”

“She asked for me, remember?”

“This again?! It’s my room.”

“So?”

“So – you know what, fine. Rock paper scissors; loser gets her mouth.”

“Mmmph!”

She squeaked at that. It was kinda cute, and more than a little funny.

“One, two, three – fuck!” Falco groaned. “Fine. Fine. But I get seconds, if you cum first.”

“Fine with me. As long as – uh, Ulti, you, uh, you okay with –”

“Completely fine,” she said from under her pillow.

Falco grumbled as he stepped out of the way. He refused to look at Slippy pulling his pants down or glance at how much the frog had to offer. From the showers on the Great Fox, he knew that Slippy was doing better than some would guess; he wasn’t rocking a micro-dick or anything, though he was more thick than he was long. He’d guess that the frog probably had around five and a half, maybe six inches in length on a good day, but it was one of those thick things that left a mark.

Falco, on the other hand…

He slipped out of his flight suit pants, letting them hit the floor before pulling his boots out of the way. By the time that he’d stripped from the waist down, Slippy was on his knees behind Ulti, grinding up against her. The lizard girl was groaning, biting down on the pillow. He watched her pull her glasses off and blindly put them on the nightstand.

“Mmmph…she’s – oh wow, she’s so wet. And so slick, and –”

“Just put it in her, Slip,” Falco said, sliding around the pillow and leaning against the headboard. “You wanna prove frogs are that good, then start fucking her and let her find out.”

“Okay, okay, fine.”

The soft ‘squelch’ of Slippy sliding in was followed by Ulti letting out a happy whimper-moan into the pillow. He rolled his eyes and yanked the pillow out of the way. Before she could complain, he rested one talon against the side of her neck, the others gently wrapping around her throat. Not choking, not even squeezing, just resting there. Almost immediately, she arched her back, shivering as he scooted into place.

“Hehehe, bit of a talon girl, huh?”

“Mmmph…h-how’d you –”

“Bird fans know what they like…and talons are a real reason to like birds,” he said, drumming them along the sides of her throat. “Now, get over here. Why don’t you get me nice and wet so I can jump right in when frog-boy over there busts a nut and needs to take a break, hmmm?”

“Heh…cocky, aren’t – mmmph…”

“So are you, until you get a mouthful, heh,” Falco said, easing his dick into her mouth. “Now, keep sucking…”

He leaned his head back against the headboard; it wasn’t a bad view to see the blue lizard bobbing her head down to the base of his cock while Slippy bucked back and forth. He could hear how wet she was; every time that the frog bottomed out, he heard the squelch of all her juices being pushed out. In, out, in, out, probably soaking his bed and definitely filling his room with all kinds of sex-smell, but hey, at least they were getting laid.

And she was cute down there. He smiled as he brought his other set of talons to her face, stroking her cheek, gently tracing the sharp points of his toes along her face and jawline. She shivered as she bobbed along his shaft, taking more than half of it down her throat every time she went down, and she moaned around it like the good little fan-slut that she was.

“Yeah, look at you. Bird cock ain’t bad, is it?” he said.

“Mmmph…mmm…”

“Heh, how’s she feeling back there, Slip?”

“T-Tight…oh god…oh, she’s so good…I just – mmmph – I want to keep doing this forever.”

“Heh, maybe we should get her number. I bet she’d be great to keep in a penthouse between missions.” Falco grinned as he looked the lizard in the eye. “Hey, Ulti. How’d you like the idea of being the official team ‘slut’ between missions, huh? Get an apartment, spread your legs whenever we come back –”

“Long as I g-get to go first!” Slippy said.

“Oh for the love of – I swear, when you get off, I’m going to fuck the shit out of this lizard and show her why she should like birds more!”

“Never gonna happen!”

“Oh, I’ll prove birds are – mmmph…damn, she’s got a good mouth…”

He’d get his turn. And when he did, he was going to show Slippy just how good he could make this lizard feel. By the time he was done, he was sure he could make her go ‘Slippy who?’ and mean it.

As he got comfortable, watching her bob her head, Falco wondered how she’d got here. She said ‘it worked,’ but what was ‘it’? And why did she have such a focus on the two of them? And why would she be this eager to get fucked?

Whatever logic was behind the questions didn’t really matter at the end of the day. He shrugged it off, leaning his head back and letting her blow him. He’d figure it out later if it even mattered.

“Mmmph…”

“Ah…ah…ah…”

“Mmmmph…ulk…ulk…”

“Yeah, that’s it, girl…suck that cock…show us that you deserve to be the team slut, heh…”